“Cash Me Ousside” Girl: More Intrigued than Offended

It has only been four months, but the breakout celebrity (if she can withstand for more than 15 minutes) is none other than 13-year old Danielle Bregoli of NJ or FL (according to reports). I’m surprised when I heard about her that she was just 13. To me, that’s a fetus.

She was born in 2003, by then I was frolicking in second grade. Obviously, we know her from being on Dr. Phil, her mother didn’t know how to handle this girl and her juvenile delinquency type behavior.

Though I guess, Mother Bregoli doesn’t also know about her daughter’s burgeoning personality. And that character, you ask is acting as stereotypically black and ghetto as possible. A wigger type behavior if you ask me. That’s mean having what looks like to be a burgundy weave, long SWV-Coko nails, big hoops, and using ebonics (also know as African American Vernacular English).

Looking at her the video on the show is not offensive to me, it’s just funny. “And no one catches me, ain’t nobody gon catch me,” she says though she appears somewhat unconfident. Though when she stated that, I pictured 1) Chamillionaire singing “catch riding dirty” and 2) some movie about a white girl trying to act black thought I could be thinking about Malibu’s Most Wanted.

Before she said, “Jail ain’t nothing.” Mind you my mother worked at Rikers, and I dare Bregoli to spend one day at Rikers Island and see if she can truly remake that statement. However when she calls the audience “hoes,” threatened to beat them saying the infamous line that been a viral sensation. Her mom is her urban dictionary translator to Dr. Phil which is dumb. Dr. Phil, you always have a bunch of teens on your show, and you can’t learn the slang and lingo they use. Get it together. And then she’s trying to fight her mom. She back on the show saying “I made you famous Dr. Phil like Oprah made you, you was nothing before me..” To which Phil said “ok.”

Now I will say this. First, let me state, I can’t stand watching Dr. Phil. Every time I came home from school, my had this on, and I’m like really? Isn’t he a psychologist or psychiatrist or something? Why are you out here exploiting these people and their business over the airwaves and diagnosing them? And most of the people that come on his show are white people with issues that make black people look like The Brady Bunch. God, the drama these race of people have. *Sighs* Second, Dr. Phil’s show has been going since 2002, but I will give Bregoli some points for making his show a little more relevant.

As for Bregoli, her parents should be ashamed. In my mind, white parents can’t learn from their pasts to raise their kids better, instead of letting them do whatever they want. No ass whoopings. No spanking. No, I am the mother you are the child. And this is what happens. Their kids become wild child like Bregoli, or angry people turned movie theater shooters. Oh but it’s black people needing to tell to be raised better by their parents. It’s like the pot calling the kettle black. If my West Indian friends or I were acting like that little fetus on Dr. Phil, we wouldn’t be alive. Our moms don’t play that. Shoot if my late grandma, was my mom they ‘d have to the producers come in and separate us.

And since that moment, Bregoli has gotten famous. She’s been in a Kodak Black video, she boasts over 8M+ followers on Instagram and has endorsements with FitTea, Postmates, and Fashion Nova. She has a song that has charted into the American Top 40. She is also a TMZ favorite and is in talks to have her reality show in the works. She also flashes the middle finger, unsuccessfully mouths the words of trap songs, and shows her breasts (mind you she probably hasn’t entered high school yet) on Instagram. Did I mention, she is reportedly charging 30k for a meet and greet. I’m pretty Bieber costs a fraction of that. Before he said that meet-and-greet life is a dub; thought Beliebers if this is wrong, please correct me.

Yes, I know the double standard of if she were black, she would be ghetto shamed and not have this success. However, this girl is trainwreck more than a Kim Kardashian make-something-out-of-nothing turnout. She’s got into a fight on airplane leading to her being banned from that particular airlines; stated that she’s “MADE MORE MONEY THIS WEEK THAN [Soulja Boy] DID LAST YEAR, and she wants to “beat up” the Kardashians. If I had to place my money on which sisters can throw dem hands, I’m sure it’s Khloe.

But the gag is, bitch you aren’t going to do anything. You posted a video of you being escorted by mall security because of “crazy fans.” And you’re thirteen years old. How are you not in school, if you are? And you call yourself SlimThugga on Instagram. I’m sure you’ll be washed up at age 19 or probably look at this at age 21 and say to yourself “Wow. I really did that?”

I’m not surprised seeing a girl like this. There’s a white girl in my mostly white town who feels the needs to be so down and black as possible. I’m curious to know if this is a phase or purpose to piss off black people who already don’t have enough to deal with in the world of 2017.

Let this frail, 5’2’ 13-year old white chick be placed and showcase her behavior in the Bronx, Newark, Southside Jamaica, Queens she would regret her decision big time. Those girls would bash her head in since she wants to act all tough and street and talk all that shit, she would get it.

There is another part of me wondering if this all a setup? I have heard reports about that. Did this girl just want to be famous and her mom was in on it, deciding that the Nickelodeon, Disney route wouldn’t make her unique? Or is that she can’t compete with thousands of other just-turned-teens trying to get a breakout spot on Disney/Nickelodeon show? That could make sense.

I’m very curious about where this girl will be in 5 years. Most people that become famous off being a ratchet-y trainwreck, eventually burnout or decides to clean up their act. For example, Snooki seems to have changed her life for better. She’s no longer on MTV, she’s lost weight, got married, started a family and from the looks of it probably chilled out with the drinking as she completely did away with the partying.

I’m sure Bregoli could go through a Lindsay Lohan period since she’s off to an excellent start. But even Lohan finally stopped her wild fuckery.

If her reality show doesn’t pan out maybe, she’ll hit the Love and Hip Hop circuit once she’s of age while collecting royalties of her memes. *I imagine in the future; people start getting compensated for being a meme*.

However here is already some resistance. New York hip-hop DJ’s Charlamagne the God (Power 105.1) and Ebro Darden (Hot 97) declined to have her as a guest on their shows.

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